How to be Socially Awkward

Don't really know how to start this.

If you didn't already know, this post is going to help all you socially awkward people excel in your line of work, just because we know that there is no hope for us, so we may as well embrace the awkwardness. Therefore, due to my vast experience over the years, I am going to try and educate you all in the art that is awkward, an art that has gotten me (not so) very far in life. But anyway, if any of you are actually still reading this, here you go, my top 5 tips of being socially inept:

1. If someone attractive/nice/normal smiles or greets you, make sure that there is something in front of you to trip on or walk into. My personal favourites are large bins or the occasional door.  

2. Never think before you speak, just say whatever random thing you can, even if it has no relevance to the conversation. I once zoned out after saying someone's name, and they turned round and asked what was up, to which I panicked after forgetting why I said their name, and replied 'I just wanted to say your name'. So guys, remember, if you're having a bad day, just be thankful that you aren't me. This was 5 years ago, and I still get reminded of it. 

3. After saying something ridiculous, always make sure that you make yourself go as bright red as possible. That way, people will think you're some kind of weird tomato thing, and the stupid sentence you just said won't be as bad any more. Also, the more people present, the better.

4. If you’re sat with someone you find attractive, firstly well done, but secondly, just try and stay as casual as you can, even if you do feel nauseous. I was once sat with the lad that I really liked in a bar, and the conversation was going really well, until I started feeling a bit dizzy. I proceeded to ignore it (stupidly), as it came from nowhere and I felt perfectly fine, but actually ended up being sick. In front of him. On the bright side, it wasn't on him, which makes it less embarrassing. However, this lad actually ended up asking me out (6 months later), but hey, we are still together 4 years later. Very surprising, as I did end up embarrassing myself a lot after this, but I guess being able to laugh off my embarrassment worked in my favour. 

5. If you meet your best mate's boyfriend for the first time, make sure there are never any awkward silences. For example, my best mate, her boyfriend and I were sat down by the river, and there was an awkward silence. Therefore, I panicked and looked around for some inspiration. Unfortunately for me, the only thing I saw was a group of geese, so I went on to make a goose noise. Yes, you read correctly, I honked at my friend's new boyfriend. From then on, there were no more awkward silences, as they were filled with laughter at my expense. Plus, I made her look great, as she looked like she was a nice person, being friends with the weird goose kid. (This unfortunately sums up my life.)

So there you go, my 5 top tips on how to be socially awkward. And I can promise, due to unfortunate experience, that they do work. Good luck my fellow social rejects, may you forever find yourself in awkward and embarrassing situations.

Much love,

Grace x

19 Things About Me

Hey, I’m Grace. 

To be honest, I’m not very interesting, and you would probably walk past me in the street and not give me a second glance, which is cool, I don’t mind. However, even though it will probably bore the majority of you, I have decided to write a blog. This is due to the fact that writing is probably one of the only things I’m good at, and, to me, the thought of writing a blog is pretty decent. (Sorry for the informality, I’m an English language student, and it’s good to not be so formal all the time). But anyway, here’s a few things that I thought you should know about me, considering you’re reading my blog and probably thinking what kind of weirdo rambles on like this:

19 Things About Me

1. I’m 19 years old, which is why I have decided to do 19 facts (see, I can be original)

           2. I’m currently studying English Language at university, and it is going quite well, which is surprising, considering I started the year doing psychology and only changed 7 weeks in. This basically highlights how I have no idea of what I want to do with my life, as I couldn’t even pick a course I was interested in.

          3. I have a sister who is 21 years of age, yet she looks about 12. I unfortunately also have these genes, and look the slightly older age of 14 (debatable). We are however holding out for the moment that everyone hits 30 and looks 40 and we both look 20, although this will probably not happen.

          4. I’m from the North East of England, which by the way, does not mean that I’m a Geordie. However, my flatmates, which are all from down South, cannot understand me or tell the difference between my accent and the Newcastle accent. This can prove to be quite annoying, as they all mimic me and accentuate the way they say ‘no’ when they are around me.

          5. Due to my accent, people cannot understand the way I say my name. Therefore, many people have called me Chris, and it has gotten to the stage where I just have to let them call me Chris, or write my name down. This proves difficult in public areas with nothing to write on, so letting them call me Chris is just easier.

      6. I had singing lessons last year, and it was something I really wanted to continue, but my studies and confidence got in the way. However, singing has always been a passion of mine, and hopefully, if I can get over my fear of singing in front of people, I can start it again. (By the way, the only reason I started lessons was due to also dancing at the stage school. Unfortunately, I learnt that I couldn’t dance to save my life, so swiftly moved onto the singing.)

           7. I love listening to music, and some of my favourite bands are blur, The Verve and The Wombats. (my favourite album of all time is probably ‘This Modern Glitch’)

           8. I have had a boyfriend of 4 years (I know, I’m surprised too), who is one of my best mates. He’s an idiot though, but we can let that go. (hey, that rhymes)

            9. I have had 4 guinea pigs, 3 hamsters, and 4 goldfish.

          10. I studied English Language, English Literature, Psychology and Geography at A level. I wasn’t a massive fan of sixth form, but I met one of my best mates there, so it wasn’t all bad…

          11. I have played the piano since I was 7 years old and love it. I can also play the saxophone and the cello.

          12. I love travelling and really want to go interrailing after university, but that would mean spending money that I do not have. Ah well, a girl can dream…

.     13. My favourite films are Back to the Future, Grease and One Day. I always wanted to be Sandy from Grease, and I really want to partake in a performance of Grease.

          14. My favourite book is ‘The Summer I Turned Pretty’ by Jenny Han. I love this book, as I read it when I was 14/15 in Cornwall, and it always reminds me of that holiday and summer.

         15. I love pigs, blob fish, manatees and sloths.

         16. I’m not very sporty, but I love watching football.

          17. My favourite holiday destination so far has been Florida, as I love Disneyland and Universal as I’m a big kid. My favourite holiday was when we went to New York for a week and then flew to Florida for 2 weeks, it was insane!

          18. In 10 years, I hope to be writing. No idea what, but ideally, I would like to be writing in some kind of magazine/newspaper or doing script work within the media, probably rambling on about nothing as I do now.

         19. Growing up, I loved Simpsons Hit and Run, Need for Speed and Mario Kart, and used to never be off my Playstation 2. I was a very cool kid.

So there you go, that’s me.

See you soon,

Grace x