Reflecting on 2016

Hey guys,

It's been a funny old year, 2016. As I'm sat up writing this on the 30th December, I'm contemplating the fact that it was quite a weird year. I mean, politics has gone tits up, and there have been some awful tragedies, but some of it was actually okay.

I saw a tweet that went viral the other day, all about the good things that have happened this year in relation to our environment and wildlife, and it made me think that some good things have actually happened this year.

Going a bit more personal here, I really feel like I have grown this year. Not literally (damn you small legs!), but in a way in that I feel like I'm more independent, and more understanding of the fact that life is a bitch, and you've just got to go with what life throws at you. Unfortunately, I had a lot of shit at school, and yes, it's affected me pretty badly, but I'm finally realising that I've got to let it go. I mean yeah, I still don't have the confidence to go out without make up on and I hide away from doing certain things, but I have managed to go out wearing less make up, which is a start. I just haven't yet come to terms with the fact that I'm not the person that I was 4 years ago, but that's okay. I'll get there. 

I finally realised this year that I really need more experience in the line of work that I want to go into, but I'm still not 100% sure what that is. But that's basically what your twenties are for, finding out what you want to do for the rest of your life.

And yes, 2016 was the year I turned 20. No longer a teenager, which means I can no longer sit on my arse all day and eat without a care in the world (although let's be honest, I'm still going to do that). I don't know, even though it's just an age, it's a new decade, a new decade in which I may get married, I may have kids, I may finish university, I may travel, I may get that dream job...it's quite overwhelming. I feel like my twenties are going to be amazing, but I just don't think I'm ready for them yet.

I have also struggled with my mental health, but I have had such amazing support from my friends and family, and I am so thankful for them. My mental health is something that I have never really spoken about on my blog, but it is something that is very apparent in my life. Anxiety is always something that I have struggled with, as I can't really remember not having my weird compulsions in relation to grammar and shapes, but I feel that university has heightened it somehow. I have always felt stress, but it got to the point where I wasn't sleeping or eating, and had to get extensions on my assignments. I felt so frustrated with myself, as I wanted to be like everyone else and just be able to write my assignment in the time given. But looking back, if I hadn't had those extensions, I probably would have gone into a spiral of stress and low moods, so I am so glad that I faced up to what was going on. I think I need to focus on that more in 2017, and focus on helping myself in relation to this. However, this year I managed to fight my anxiety to some extent, and in my second term I handed in all of my assignments in on the deadline. It's a small victory, but one of which I am proud.

In 2016, I started my blog. This was a massive highlight for me this year, as I finally put my love of writing into something real, into something that I can look back on, and think 'wow, I was doing that this time last year' or 'wow, look how far I've come' (although not in photography, my photography is still a bit shit). It's quite amazing how much I have changed, within my writing style and also within my confidence. I would never in a million years have posted a photo of my face on the internet showcasing a make up look that I had created. It's also been an outlet for me, an outlet to just get out of my head for a while, and write. Write whatever I want and do whatever I want - it's fantastic.

I've also had some amazing opportunities in relation to my blog, as I have met loads of incredible bloggers, and have attended events that I would never even dream of attending. In fact, I was invited to an event in London recently, which also has guests attending such as In The Frow and Lydia Elise Millen, which is so amazing, yet so overwhelming. I'm so excited to attend, but I'm such a small blogger, with very little experience in comparison to the majority of people attending, and it's quite daunting to say the least. But this is something that I am so looking forward to, and I will definitely be writing a post about it!

I also started my YouTube channel. I never ever ever thought that I would be sat in my room talking to a camera as if the most natural thing in the world and then post it on the internet - but I did. To be honest, I never thought that I would even come close to starting, but here we are. If you're interested in checking out my YouTube channel, I'll leave the link here.

I was also very fortunate to visit California with my parents, something that I have always wanted to do. It was on of the best holidays I have ever been on, and I made memories there that are completely unforgettable. We toured down the West Coast, and we saw some amazing places, such as San Francisco, San Diego and Yosemite! I wrote many a post about my time here, so I will leave some links for you to view them - Monterey Bay, Yosemite, San Francisco. I am so thankful for being able to visit such amazing places, and I am so grateful to my parents for taking me!

So that was a very rambley post, but I feel that it was more honest and personal, which is something that I have never delved into on my blog, in fear of being found by someone I know, but also in fear of being judged in some shape or form. However, I have learnt to just say 'screw it', and go for it!

I hope you have all had a wonderful 2016, and I wish you a happy new year for 2017.

Let's see what this year brings.

Much love always,

Grace x