Learning to Love Yourself (or the Journey Towards It)

Hey guys,

Confidence is always something that I've struggled with. I wasn't particularly 'popular' at school, and puberty definitely hit me like a ton of bricks. Genuinely, I showed a picture of my teenage self to my housemate and he was shocked at how much I'd changed.

But in reality, I don't think I've changed. I'm still that 14 year old who pretends to be absolutely fine and pretends to have some sort of confidence about her, when in fact she has very little. I've never been the prettiest girl or the slimmest girl, but that's not what affects me. I have completely accepted this fact. It's the fact that I compare myself to everyone, and that if someone points out something about myself that I already feel is a flaw, it just replays in my mind. I still can remember the time when someone made a pretty nasty comment about my nose, and when someone pointed out how ugly I was to the entire class.

But then I think, that was school. And I'm not the same person that I was at school. And there is more to life than the way I look. I got good grades, and yes, I got mocked for it, but I'm now studying at a Russell Group university studying something I really enjoy. I was also called boring at school, yet if you actually get to know me, I am pretty damn hilarious. I am genuinely the most sarcastic person you will ever meet, and I love to take the piss out of myself. I was also told how I was too nice for my own good, and to be honest, this one is correct, as I let people get away with walking all over me and treating me like shit, but I guess you can't win them all.

I mean, I'm still not completely there yet, and I may not ever get there to completely loving myself, but I'm definitely learning to accept myself. The picture above was taken at a point where I was happy, my make-up had gone okay (considering my very mediocre make-up skills) and I was feeling somewhat confident within myself.

I'm not the brightest, or the funniest, or the prettiest (thank god for make-up), but I'm me. I'm Grace, the 20 year old who sometimes has a bad confidence day, but is learning to come to terms with myself. I'm a good person, I'm a good friend, I'm the most loyal person you will ever meet, and I love my friends and family more than anything. I'm just me, and I need to learn that this is nothing to be ashamed of. Even though I have been told that I'm not good enough and I'm not this and I'm not that, I'm learning to accept that people can have their opinions. But it shouldn't make me feel worthless because other people want to push me down. But I'm learning. I'm learning to love myself, or at least I'm on the journey towards it.

Thank you so much for reading,

Much love,

Grace x